pakhara:

I am the most unpleasant, rude, ignorant, and all-around obnoxious arsehole that anyone could possibly have the misfortune to meet. I am dismissive of the virtuous, unaware of the beautiful, and uncomprehending in the face of the unhappy. So if I didn’t understand I was being asked to be best man, it is because I never expected to be anybody’s best friend. John, I am a ridiculous man. Redeemed only by the warmth and constancy of your friendship.